Vulnerable

What am I suppose to do.

Jay will never understand.

It's not that I'm lonely or whatever, it's just that I want him to be there.

He skipped school today, again. Yeah it's nothing big. Except it kinda reminded me of when he kept skipping in Grade 11. That one whole month, he only came to school like 2 out of 5 days every week. I was really upset, but he didn't know. During that time, I hang out a lot with Gordon and Heena. They knew how upset I was. And they were sooo nice, cause they let me be with them, although they were dating at that time and I knew they wanna spend quality time together lol.

But yeah, that one whole month, I was really upset. I didn't know if I should be mad at Jay for skipping school, or should I tell him that it's alright; I didn't know what I should do. If I tell him that skipping is ok, isn't that bad? If I get mad at him, that's bad too. Everyone kept asking me to just get mad at him and then he'll come to school for sure. But I didn't want to, I mean, it's only skipping school, no big deal. I couldn't take it at times, and I was mad at him at times. He just brush me off saying he can take care of himself and he doesn't need me to worry about him.

Really?

After 8 months, I know him well enough to know that even if I don't care about him, he won't care to make any changes bout that either. He's like that.

I don't know what's the point of this post. Just wanted to rant out.